Imelda Marcos, you're in my whey!

I am the Imelda Marcos of cheese.  There I said it.  I'm a cheese whiz, a Parmesean queen, a Stilton supplier.  I'm a Bierkase buyer, a Dutch Mimolette doyenne, and a Fresh Mozzarella fanatic.  I nibble on Neufchatel, savor Saint-Andre, and go ga-ga for Goat cheese (or crazy for Chevre - same difference)  What Imelda and I have in common though, is we both have an overabundance.  She has shoes, I have cheese.

I can't go by a cheese section without seeing what's new.  If something looks appealing, I'll buy it - "Oh! that sounds good! I bet it would go great in a [insert dish of choice here]" Ka-CHING! The problem is, I never make that dish the cheese would go great in.  Then it languishes in my refrigerator for God-only-knows-how-long until I clean the fridge out, and notice I could supply the third world with all the penicillin they need from the mold growing on the cheese.

I decided to take out all the unopened packages of cheese and do an inventory.  Here's what I found, and that doesn't even include the opened packages.  You know, the pre-shredded cheeses - right now I have Mexican, Italian, and Italian with herbs, Sharp Cheddar, Parmesean (two containers) and Romano.  Oh, and a package of sliced Muenster. Erm...and an open package of wedge Parmesean for grating...umm..oops I forgot that package of sharp Provolone.  I think that's all of them.  Really.  Honest.  Cross my heart.

OK...here's the list:

1. Gruyere -which is...if you didn't know, an insanely expensive type of Swiss cheese.  I can't even remember why I bought it - for fondue perhaps?
2. Trader Joe's Apple Smoked Garlic Cheddar - I remember my salivating glands going into production when I read the title...I imagined putting it on a burger, eating it with sliced apples, putting it in scrambled eggs...you see the wrapper intact, don't you?
3. Mimolette - I love this cheese.  It's very hard, sweet and nutty, and tastes heavenly grated onto a baked potato, and good in little bites with beer.  You would not want to know how the rind gets its pitted appearance though.  That will be my little secret. It would ruin the romantic appeal of this cheese, trust me.
4. Cheddar - I don't know why I bought this - It's just an aged sharp cheddar from Vermont.  Perhaps for Christmas, and I never put it out?  It's MARCH now, people!!!
5. Andruil Baltic-style Farmer Cheese - I think the term "Baltic" appealed to me. I'm half Estonian.
6. Gorgonzola - I use this instead of Blue Cheese.  I find it creamier, mellower than Blue.  I use it in burgers, and on salads, (although Goat Cheese has recently taken it's place).  Which reminds me...I also have an open log of Goat Cheese in the fridge.  Mea culpa for not mentioning it above.  (Maybe if I sneak it in here, you won't notice)
7. Cranberry Chevre - OMG I love this cheese.  On a plain soda cracker.  Buy it, or wait til I post a recipe. Trader Joe's.
8. Asiago Cheese - This is a type of parmesean.  Not generic.  Nutty.  Yummy.  Good for grating, except I already have one of these open, in addition to two commercially grated containers *sighs* I need help.
9. Swiss - Yes, it's just plain swiss. I think it's left over from the Potatoes Dauphinois that I made at Christmas. Not sure. It could be from the quiche too.
10. Pecorino "Grand Old Man" - It's a cool name. It's in the parmesean/romano family line of cheese. It's made in Italy. I must have been Italian in a past life and yearning for my homeland when I bought this cheese.
11. Stilton with dates and oranges - Stilton alone is a hard cheese to take...it's strong, stinky, and in that "mold is good for you" cheese family (think Blue and Gorgonzola) However, mix it with dates and oranges, and you cut that stinkiness and it's pretty good. Though I would not know, I haven't tried it yet. It SOUNDS really good. This is a white Stilton. There are two types - white and blue. Bet you didn't know that.
12. Muenster - I am on a muenster cheese kick. I eat it for lunch with some roasted cauliflower and dried green beans. Don't knock dried green beans til you've tried them. They are yummy. I know, I'm weird. But it's good.
13. Cracker Barrel Sharp White Cheddar - Hubby likes this cheese. I think it got it for Super Bowl. We never used it.
14. Fig Cake with Almonds - This is not a cheese. However, I am also obsessed with Fig Cake. It's a very hard, dense bread type thingie that tastes really good if you put cream cheese or goat cheese on it. A little goes a long way. However, I usually eat it for a few days then forget about it. It's like fruitcake in that it never goes bad. It could also be a handy weapon if you have an intruder break into your house, so be sure to keep that pointy tip. Those fig cakes can be lethal.
15. Stilton with Dates and Oranges - Sound familiar? It should, because this is also #11. It sounded so good, that I had to buy it again, because I didn't realize I had a wedge from the first time I bought it. Now I have to think about what I can do with this. Perhaps a salad binge is in order.
    

I am taking suggestions as to uses for the above cheeses.  I should really find a 12-step program for Impulsive Cheese Buyers.  Right now though, I guess I'll go eat my lunch.  Two slices of cheese down, many more to go.  BTW...See Cheese #12.

my lunch