Forays into culinary weirdness, Part 4

OK...I was at my local liquor store - North Ridge Liquors the other day picking up some wine.  I love this place, because they have wine that NO one else has.  I found a bottle of Arroyo de la Vega Tempranillo that the waiter at Aida Bistro swore I would have a very hard time finding...hah! PSYCH!  He obviously didn't go to the Boarman bros. :).

I was at the checkout and this Dutch wine caught my eye.  It's called Chocovine.  Sounds like heaven, doesn't it?  especially if you're a woman - Chocolate + wine?  all they need to do is add a guy with a six pack and I don't mean Beer and almost any woman would be in heaven.  My brain was screaming ESCHEW!!!!!, but the guy at the counter (I think it was the Boarman bros dad - I saw a resemblance) was telling me how everybody loved it Mistake #1 - latching onto the phrase "everyone LOVED it".  I told him I prefer my wine unadulterated, as well as my chocolate - that I'm more of a purist.  He persisted "I never had anyone return a bottle yet" until you met me.  He told me red wine and chocolate were MEANT to go together, like peas and carrots, bread and butter. Ummm...really? then why didn't someone think of this earlier? I think a bunch of Dutch chocolatiers and French vintners were sitting around passing the pipe that was filled with a grassy illegal substance here, and were trying to figure out how to make a profit off a bad batch of red wine...

"Yah sure...vy don't ve put chocolahte in der vine yah?"  
"ohhh c'est une bonne idee!!  MAGNIFIQUE!!!!"
"yah, yah...ve call it..."CHOCOVINE!"
"Oui! and we sell it to zee Americains who weell buy anysing if zey are told eet's tres bien pour vous et chic, non?"

Here is the copy of the "pitch" for their product:

Chocolate and wine can be paired in a way that features the best and the most interesting aspect of each flavor profile.  But they are also both incredibly complex and pairing them has always been a daunting process, often leading to dreadful results you can say that again.  The right chocolate paired with the perfect wine can create a near-orgasmic taste experience. Did anyone else chuckle when they read that sentence? But the wrong wine opposite a too-sweet chocolate creates nothing but horror.  I hear you laughing! They use a Cabernet (you could have fooled me). Many have taken the challenge...and have failed. Yes, and you have too, but you are a bit delusional.

After years of research, however "research"...yeah,  right - just another excuse to drink alcohol before noon :-P , the perfect union of wine and chocolate is not only a reality but the outcome is a true match made in heaven!  LOL come on...who wrote this?? With ChocoVine, the two concepts are blended to perfection to create pure bliss. "concept" - something conceived in the mind.  Gee... and here I thought chocolate and wine were a reality.  My bad. I guess that means I can stuff my face with Salazon Chocolate until I am in a state of orgasmic bliss, and my hips will never know the difference, since chocolate is a concept Yay!  Additionally, not only is wine and chocolate a tantalizing blend for its sensational taste, but research shows that they are both rich in antioxidant, making it a healthy combination as well. THERE IT IS - the "good for you" pitch...that should have been a red flag right there - it's just another way a company tries to get you to buy their  product because it contains the fotm as far as "healthy for you" foods go :-P (please reference my "Chocolate tasting" and see "maca")
I know that the above description is a bit long, but it really is an amusing read, I had to share that with you.  Do Europeans really think that Americans are that stupid??

I wound up buying a bottle because I was in an adventurous mood.  Chilled it, popped it open and took a swig.  It's like Bailey's.  Except thicker.  You can't taste any wine (much less Cabernet), and it has that burning sensation you get when you drink brandy, whiskey, etc...I love the Norwegian word for whiskey - "Brennende vin" which literally translated means "burning wine" (I hope I spelled that correctly)  If you like sweet, creamy drinks like Bailey's, you may like this stuff.  I didn't.  My days of drinking cream liqueur are over it may have something to do with that time in Lake Placid with hubby and two Irishmen we befriended at the hotel bar...never buy an Irishman a drink.  EVER. you will so regret it in the morning.  We consumed mass quantities of various beverages - a veritable smorgasbrod of ETOH, and cream liqueurs featured predominately in some of the shots we downed, and it also was featured predominantly on the way back up, if you catch my drift..., and I certainly did not expect a thick creamy concoction from the description on the label.  Since when is cabernet "thick"? What makes this stuff thick??? ugh.  Hubby tried it, didn't like it.  Daughter tried it, didn't like it.  I didn't like it.  Batting .000 here.

I mentioned this madventure to Jason - he's the farmer I drive with on Wednesdays when I work at my local CSA, Breezy Willow Farm.  He told me his mom likes that sort of stuff, so I said I'd bring the bottle on Friday and we'd have a little tasting party.  They popped the bottle open - RJ hadn't tried it when I left, but Jason and Casey did, and both liked it.  They didn't swoon over it, but they liked it.  If I didn't have the Lake Placid bias, I might like it too, no lie.  I think the only way it would taste reaaaallly good, is to put it in a blender with some vanilla ice cream.  We used to make Brandy Alexanders that way, and they were scrumptious.  They both agreed it was a bit strong on its own, but diluted it was a definite maybe.  Since then, RJ has tried it, and has fallen in love with it.  Not to excess mind you, but she finds Chocovine very tasty over ice.

So, get it if you like stuff like White Russians, Bailey's, Godiva,  and any other cream liqueur.  Pass if you're a purist or drank with a couple Irishman after offering to buy them a round to show them good ol' American hospitality.

Continuing my forays into culinary weirdness - I just found a sparkling liqueur called Nuvo.  This may make it to my summer list of things to try...*heads off to Northridge Liquors in search of an elusive bottle*

Cosmos...part 2

Now that the weather is getting warmer (it was 91 here yesterday and hubby actually kicked the AC on "to see if it works") I am thinking about Cosmos.  My thoughts coincide with SATC part 2 coming out in May - yay!  I have mixed feelings about this movie though...On one hand, I'd love to see the girls together again, it looks like Carrie runs into Aiden, and something happens, cos she is calling Big and sayin' "Something happened" which is never good.  However, they are all WELL past the "single Cosmo girl" age, and somehow those extra wrinkles with the haute couture "young, hip" look, just don't seem to go together - and I should talk!

Well, I don't have many wrinkles, but when a woman starts to get to the age where she doesn't want to ADMIT her age, things start headin' south quickly, if you know what I mean.  Honey, you gonna have things saggin, that you never thought COULD sag.  You finally understand where the saying "over the shoulder boulder holder" came from, cos your boulders would just tumble down the mountain if there wasn't SOMETHING holdin' them puppies up.  Braless is no longer an option.  Even your face starts to creep south.  Thing is, so are all your friend's faces, so you are not alone.  You still feel young, you just don't LOOK young.  I for one am going to age gracefully.  I don't care if my lady parts want to fly south - let 'em.  So what if I get a few grey hairs, and start lookin' like my neighbor's beagle Buffy? I'm still ME on the inside, and I can still laugh with my friends, knock down a few shots and some beers (although I'll probably pay for it in the morning), and make double entendres til they are comin' out of my ears. 

Age is what you make it.  If you FEEL old, then you ARE old...but I don't want to see OLD SATC - Can you imagine if they made a SATC 7? Carrie, Charlotte, Samantha and Miranda would probably be residents of a Dell Webb Sun City retirement community somewhere in the west, wearing floppy hats and teetering around on their 30 year old Manolos.  Samantha would be screwing all the widowers/divorced men in the community, Charlotte would be making scrapbooks of her grandkids, Miranda would be campaigning for elder rights, and Carrie would still be wearing her hair long and loose (although it would be grey) lots of turquoise jewelry, and she and Big would have the nicest house in the community.  Aiden would be living down the block to make things interesting, and Steve would open up a bar in the complex.  And they'd still be drinking Cosmos.

I love Cosmos.  I love making them, I love drinking them, I love the flavor.  I also feel wonderfully self indulgent when I make them.  I found these adorable martini glasses that make me feel special, and started a small collection.  I now have three.  One came from the UK, because they were sold out in the US, AND I paid LESS for it than I would have here (such the bargain hunter!) the other is courtesy of my darling daughter, and the third was the first in my collection.  The glasses are by Lolita , and they've branched out into wine, champagne flutes, etc..but I still think their martini glasses are the best. 

I have flip flops, (because I love flip-flops), "Music-tini" (because I love music - it's a major part of my life), and

"Grandma Got Run Over" (because it's incredibly silly, makes me laugh, and I love seeing her face at the bottom of the glass) and *update* I just obtained a fourth "Lolita" glass - this one is a retired "19th hole"  martini glass I got at a bah-gin on E-Bay dahlin' because I play golf, hubby is avid about golf, and we almost ended our engagement on a golf course - so...sentimental reasons :-P..I'm a happy camper.

I think every woman needs to have something that makes them feel special...indulged...and, oh, I don't know...bubbly?  Lolita Martini glasses do that for me.  I don't want a huge collection - I drink out of them, then wash them carefully and dry them before they go back in their boxes...but I don't mind getting ones that are part of the reflection that is ME, so it just goes to reason that I would not be content with just the original Cosmopolitan recipe.  I sort of made it my own, and I love the difference, and...I am willing to share it with you.  Here's hoping that YOU get YOUR favorite "Lolita" glass, shake up some Cosmos, put your feet up, and feel bubbly.

First, a decent vodka is a must.  It's the main ingredient in a Cosmo, and everyone seems to have a preference for vodka these days.  There's so many to choose from, all of them touting that they are the best, but I found the best, and it's cheaper than Diddy's, smoother than Smirnoff, and tastier than Stoli, and Tina-wina...guess what? It's made in Austin, TX! YeeeeeeeeeHAH!!!!  Tito's Handmade Vodka.  I love this stuff - not in an alcoholic sort of way, but I love it.  It's smooth, you could drink it straight, and very reasonably priced.  Read his story, it's kinda cool - It started out as a hobby, making flavored vodkas for friends, then he started trying to make his own vodka, succeeded, and the rest well, I'll let you read it :)  Best vodka I've ever had, and I've had a lot of vodka over the years I've been of legal drinkin' age.  Get it, nuff' said.  Besides, you'll be supporting a fellow Texan.  Hell, I'm an east coast gal, and I LOVE his vodka.  Tito hon, you got mah vote!

OK...you got the vodka.  Now, you need Limoncello, which is a lemon liqueur from Italy.  The original recipe calls for an orange liqueur like Cointreau, but I like Limoncello.   You will also need cranberry juice and orange juice, kapish? Good.  Here are the rough "parts" for my "Chris-tini":

2 parts vodka
1 part cranberry juice
1 part Limoncello
1 part orange juice.

Put in a cocktail shaker with lots of ice.  Shake it like a polaroid picture.  Strain and pour into your martini glass.  Enjoy.

This is easy to adapt.  If it's too strong for you, add more cranberry/orange juice.  If it's not sweet enough, add more juice.  If you like it sweet, I'd suggest getting the "Cosmopolitan" bottled drink mix, which has more sugar in it than plain cranberry juice.

For a variation, use Cointreau instead of Limoncello.  This is closer to the original "Cosmo" recipe, with the exception of the addition of OJ.

Further variations:

-Substitute Red Rum (which is Virgin Islands Rum infused with Tropical fruits) for vodka in either of the above recipes.   It's very good with Red Rum.  I had a bottle hanging around that I bought for some obscure recipe I made years ago, and decided to see how it would taste in a martini - yummy.

-Use Red Rum, pineapple juice, Cointreau with a splash of OJ for a "Tropi-cini"

Enjoy!
Part 3 will be more alcohol, Sinclair Lewis' punch revamped for the 21st century.  I bought the peach brandy and dark rum yesterday, and I'm mulling about the possibilities in a cocktail shaker around 5 pm this afternoon :-)